What’s your job description?

“We can embrace our inability and not worry our way through our parenting years. Why? Because as parents we serve a gloriously loving and powerful Redeemer. He loves our children infinitely more than we do and as evidence of that love, he has placed them in a family of faith where the story of his love will be heard again and again.”
Paul David Tripp

As a mum, a single mum especially, I usually feel the need to be all that my child needs. Often, that includes roles that I literally have to learn on the job. You’ll commonly hear people say “I’m both the mum and dad to my child.” I think that’s part of what I mean. I have felt the fear of failure often. Thinking to myself “Will I really manage to raise her to be everything she needs to be?” “Will I succeed at helping her develop the skills she needs to pursue her mission in this life?” “Am I really good enough for this job?” It really is depressing when think about it sometimes and it makes me cave. This feeling – inadequacy – isn’t a good feeling. If anything, it makes you conform to the image that you have in your mind; the image that says that you’ll never handle it on your own, you’re too deep in your troubles to make it through this, being a mum takes a lot more than what you have within you. For many of you, like me, these feelings often come to mind consciously or unconsciously. But what if I told you that that’s not your job description?

You see, as mums, we have this protective instinct that almost obliterates even the very instinct for self-preservation. We literally “do whatever it takes” to ensure the very best for our children and that sometimes includes taking on roles that aren’t ours. We put on one hat after another to the point that we are at risk of crushing under the weight of these varied and crucial responsibilities. Taking on so much and not having enough strength to carry that weight isn’t what God intended for us. I know you may be thinking “Well, things have to get done one way or another and in my position, I’m the only one who can do it” and often, that’s true. However, we always forget the very crucial partner in the relationship whose job description it is to provide strength, give direction, comfort, and encourage. Our shoulders, single mum or not, weren’t built to carry the weight of raising a child alone and thank God they weren’t because I would fail miserably in this parenting role, and so would you.

Psalm 127:1 says “Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the LORD protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.” (NLT) This literally means that all the work in the world you put into raising your child, if not done with God’s help has no way of succeeding. You may be thinking “Some people have been raised to be quite successful without God or even religion” which is true. But I would say, how sure are you that their success is their full potential, or even the path they were meant to take in the first place? Our human understanding of success can never be matched to God’s. He sees and knows much more than we do and therefore, His standard of what we are meant to pursue should be the standard we seek, not what we think with our limited human thinking.

Our job description as parents is that of stewardship, not ownership. We have the responsibility to carry out the plan that God has for our children. But how can we do that when we don’t even know what that plan is? God is our partner in this endeavor to raise our kids to fulfil their purpose in life. Like two blades on a pair of scissors, each plays a crucial role in the overall goal. Without one of the blades, no work gets done. Similarly, we have been called to shape our children. We have to choose to rely on the one who will ultimately hold us all accountable. Something I try to remind myself every day is that I don’t have to carry all that weight alone, and thank God I don’t have to. As we raise those little ones, we have to keep in mind that they aren’t solely our responsibility. In this beautifully divine partnership of parenting, our responsibility ends at stewardship, so choose to work within your job description as God works in His and watch those children shine in the glory of the purpose their God has for them.