Take a break!

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

My journey in motherhood has been beautiful so far. I have loved the process of getting to discover the mother side of me. Now, when I say beautiful, I don’t mean rainbows and sunshine and being the perfect mum, always knowing what to do at every turn. If that would be the standard, then there’s no such thing as beautiful motherhood in this life. In my journey, I have experienced unexplainable joy and deep sadness. I have laughed heartily and cried uncontrollably. I have held my baby close to my heart and had to love her from a distance, and this week, I had to love her from a distance.

I had to come back to work briefly from Bomet where I have been over the last three months because of the pandemic. I had to leave my daughter with family in Bomet and as usual it’s never easy just leaving her like that. Mothers, you know what I mean. One minute, you need a break from the piercing screams and chaotic messes and the next minute, you’re counting hours till then next time you can see your baby again. Two days ago, I was seated at the dining table waiting to her my daughter’s footsteps as she left the bedroom to come have breakfast. Yesterday, I remembered that I had forgotten to serve her dinner and let it cool before people came to the table to eat. Both times, it hit me that my daughter and I were in different places. I wasn’t going to hear her footsteps and her food was being served at another table.

These are some of the parts of motherhood that we sometimes, don’t hear much about. It’s tough raising a baby as a young mum. The strain it puts on you emotionally, psychologically, and even financially can make you pull your hair out. But when you see that child, you know that you can get the energy to fight another day. My one objective for today is to encourage you to take a break once in a while. Motherhood burnout isn’t funny especially when the kids are still so young. They need to be fed, cleaned, entertained, disciplined, nursed, and even policed. But once in a while, you need to just take a break and breath. I assure you, you won’t be away as long as you think if that’s what you’re worried about. You’ll leave and call back 6 hours and 18 minutes later checking if they asked about you, if they had ate their lunch, if their injured knee is getting better, if they had their bath and put on that warm purple jumper with the polka dots…(and all the guilty mums just saw a reflection of themselves in that last sentence. Lol!)

All I’m saying is, burnout is real and it can cripple you. Many times, we fail to take the break or even see that we need it because we want to prioritize our child by taking care of their needs before any others or we may feel guilty that leaving them may not be the “mum kind of thing” to do. In the world of social media, the pressure is even worse because we see images of mums who, in our eyes, are winning at this motherhood thing. Starting from the baby bump photos to the homeschooling to the fun in the kitchen with the kids. It sometimes makes us feel inadequate. I can admit that I’ve often felt like I’m not doing my best as a mum; that I’m not strong enough ‘like other mums’ and some of these standards can sometimes kill us!

My point is: take care of yourself and run your own race. Taking a break shouldn’t be done with guilt. Your child needs you refreshed and ready to hit the ground running the next day, not the version of you that’s about to drop because you’ve taken on too much. By taking care of yourself, you’re prioritizing your child’s welfare. Secondly, get the ‘perfect mum’ image out of your head and avoid getting sucked into social media pressures that give impossible standards to live by.

The truth is that motherhood is a journey that has the beauty of roses but has its thorns as well. It will have you feel a range of emotions that even the English language cannot adequately describe. Its beauty is not only in the cute ice-cream dates, perfect homeschooling and picture-perfect children. It’s in the mix of emotions, memories and experiences which comes together to form a lovely masterpiece of your own journey. But like any beautiful artwork, you can only truly appreciate it when you take a step back to really look at all of it. So, choose to take a step back in that one afternoon or one weekend, to just recharge and think about how far you’ve come before you get back on the saddle to rock the heck out of your motherhood game. You need and deserve that break.