Everyone’s journey is different. However, any journey needs tools which will be of help along the way. These tools may be financial, emotional, psychological etc. Regardless of what they may be, they contribute significantly to how long and how enjoyable (or not) your journey will be.
This applies to single motherhood as well. The journey is never the same for any two people regardless of how similar their circumstances may be. However, the tools someone has will determine the success of their journey. Now, this isn’t some absolute or comprehensive list of such tools. But what I can say from my own experience is that they have been of great help along the way.
Quality #1: Patience
Needless to say, for those who have had drama like I have regarding being a single mum, you will confirm that you need patience, a truck load of it! Some circumstances involve a troublesome baby daddy, gossiping family members, and judgmental neighbors, not to mention the unreliable “friends.”
So much could be going on at the same time, it could make your head spin. This is the point that you need to remember that you still need your head on straight to handle the journey that’s ahead of you; your child literally depends on it. Choose calm. Choose to avoid participating in the drama. Choose maturity. Choose patience.
Quality #2: Strength
Right next to the need for patience is the need for strength. So many things happening may drain you of your emotional, mental, psychological and even physical strength. You’re not alone. It’s okay. You may find that even getting up in the morning is a chore and honestly, it sometimes is. But in our minds, we know that giving up is not an option.
Seek strength from supportive family and friends, from others who’ve gone ahead of you and thrived, and most importantly, from God who is our source and sustainer. The year ahead may look tough, but all you need to do is master the strength for one more day and soon enough, they’ll add up. It’s a journey taken diligently one step at a time.
Quality #3: Confidence
There’s nothing fiercer than a lady who knows herself and her worth. She knows who she is, and whose she is. However, we don’t always feel this way. We may not feel like the most confident people in a room; we may feel low, unappreciated and devalued. But just to point out the obvious: just because we feel something doesn’t make it real because feelings are fleeting; they change too often to be factual. Our value, if measured by our mistakes and inadequacies, would leave anyone feeling too low to lift their heads.
Instead, because of the value that God puts on us through the love He relentlessly showers on us, how much more should we walk in the confidence that we are worth much more than the challenges we face and the mistakes we make in life.
Quality #4: Creativity
This regards every area of your life. Your resourcefulness and efficiency with your time, money and energy will be tested greatly as a single mum. You may find that you struggle to find a balance and that’s where creativity comes in because it’s unique to your own circumstances.
If it’s been tough for you to find time to read or engage in personal growth, since the baby came along, listen to some helpful content on your earphones as you do some chores. If you don’t want to defer that semester but can’t make it to classes, find a classmate to record the lecture for you and get you notes to stay up to speed with the curriculum. If an office job isn’t possible because finding a house help is expensive and stressful (or you just can’t trust your baby to a stranger), find work to do online and stay home.
Nothing is set in stone. It all depends on your circumstances and how devoted you are to make it work with whatever you have going on. Find creative ways to achieve your goals.
Quality #5: Optimism
Finally, like I always say, it’s really not the end of the world. Stay on course resiliently and you will get to where you’re going. Your journey may take you to lengths you never dreamed you’d go, both positively and negatively. But that’s all part of the experience; it’s what makes your journey yours. What matters is that even as you go through life, you keep your head above water and keep going.
One of the most resourceful tools would be humor; find it within you to be able to find joy even in the most strenuous circumstances. I personally found this extremely helpful along my journey. Some things that at the time were really going to kill me ended up being a point of humor which lightened my attitude towards my challenges. It’s okay to cry sometimes, but it’s also okay to laugh at yourself once in a while. Optimism will take you a long way!
Like I said, these aren’t the only qualities which will be valuable tools along the way. You may have yours or find some on your journey which you find quite helpful. Let me know what those are. And with that, thanks for ending with me this month’s theme of Single Motherhood. Cheers to next month’s theme! (Whatever that will be. Lol!)
