Of closed doors but open windows

You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed. ~Proverbs 23:18 (NLT)

When I was younger, maybe around 17 or 18, I had a plan of what my life would be like. I knew that I would get married at about 24 or 25, get maybe two kids, three kids max, in two-year intervals so that by 29, I would be done having babies so that I can raise them while I still have enough energy for the hassle. Since I already mentioned before that I had my daughter at 19 – less than two years after that ‘plan’ – I’m sure by now you’re giggling because you know that my life story didn’t quite end up like that in any way. Well, maybe not entirely because I’m still 27 so I have 2 years to see if the part about kids by 29 is still workable. However, I tell people that I can’t imagine my life without my little one. There’s a joy and fulfillment that comes with taking care of your child that supersedes plans, expectations and challenges that may arise along the way.

I think, like me, you wanted something really badly – like that dream job, that change from a toxic relationship to a healthy one, or even that seat in that matatu before it gets full and the conductor goes “Ingia ile next!” We’ve probably also been in that position where we know what we want and when we want it. We have the image pictured in our heads what it would be like if God just granted that prayer we so desperately want answered because we have mastered all the faith we possibly can and even more (My pastor says “Kama hauna imani, tegemea yangu”). And yet we often get disappointed because things sometimes don’t go the way we envisioned it usually because of the emotional attachment we end up having with this dream.

One thing I’ve learnt in my short life is that sometimes, we know what we want for ourselves based on what our limited minds think we should have. With the exception of opportunities we missed out on because of our own mistakes or a series of events beyond one’s control, I strongly believe that some things that don’t go as we planned are simply God’s way of showing us something better than what we think we want. I’ll give you an example. Over the past few weeks, my fiancé has been looking for a house to move into and it had been one setback after another for various reasons. He would find the perfect house with a good location from his workplace, good amenities available nearby and offers reasonable rent but one thing or another would just happen and it wouldn’t go through. Different things came up but it was mostly a racial issue since he works overseas. Eventually, he got an apartment in an amazing new building – so he is the first tenant to live in that house – which has beautiful finishing done in the house, is slightly further from work than his current house but the distance is almost insignificant and the rent was exactly where his budget was at. When he told me that he had received the lease contract for this new place, I just thanked God because I knew that God was preparing him for this house.

Often, we think that God has ‘forgotten’ us or there’s something that isn’t quite right that we need to fix here and now. But really, it may be that God is setting you up for something even better than you think you want for yourself. When He says that He has good plans for you, it means that even in the small things, He knows that He has your back at every turn. He’s not a fair-weather friend who stays close when it’s all good and is the first to run for the hills when they get the slightest whiff of trouble lurking around. I knew what plans I had for myself with regard to planning my life, my fiancé had his plans regarding the house he wanted, and I’m completely sure that you had/have a plan or something you’re praying to happen just like you’ve envisioned it. By God’s grace, He grants often our requests. However, in the times that you feel like your dream isn’t materializing, know that God is still in the business of keeping His promises. So, dream and pray with your hands open knowing that God may have something even better for you but the only way He can give you what He knows is good for you, is if your hands are open to receive it. Most importantly, keep trusting in His love for you because there may be a closed door but He could open a window, just for you.