Father’s Day Post: The Valiant Knight

“In the darkest days, when I feel inadequate, unloved and unworthy, I remember whose daughter I am and I straighten my crown.” ~Unknown

I still remember that scary Wednesday in September 2012 when I went home feeling suffocated and my heart so heavy I could collapse and die! It was a few days after I found out that I was pregnant at the end of the second semester of my first year in university and I knew without a doubt that I had screwed up big time with this one. Soon after taking several pregnancy tests knowing that they were all going to be positive, but hoping against all hope that at least one would be negative the next time around, I knew that I had to tell my parents. The ‘how’ was what I couldn’t think of. All I knew was I didn’t have it in me to tell them at the same time. That week, my mum went to visit her mum but dad was home and I had an opportunity to just tell it as it is – when it comes to news of pregnancy, there never is any sugarcoating it. And so that gloomy Wednesday, I knocked on my parents’ bedroom door and sat down to tell my dad the news.

I didn’t know what exactly to expect (given that “Dad, I’m pregnant” isn’t an ordinary conversation with predictable outcomes) but, while in my state of confusion and fear and anxiety, I went on to explain that I was expecting…a baby. Of course, he was disturbed but it wasn’t too evident but all I remember him saying was “Okay. We’ll deal with it.” Feel free to imagine my reaction to that statement. After that, he asked if mum knew, I said no and he asked who should tell her and I asked him to do it (In retrospect, I don’t think he really expected me to say that I should).

It was definitely a tough few months during the pregnancy as we all did what we could to adjust to the new normal but I have to say that I saw a side of my dad I couldn’t have imagined was there. Was he upset about the pregnancy? Of course not. He was FURIOUS! But he handled it in the fatherliest way anyone possibly could. I saw him defend me unapologetically, encourage me consistently, support me lovingly, teach me patiently and protect me fiercely. Even in circles where the pregnancy would conventionally reflect badly on him, he fought through to ensure that I would make it to the other side.

This past week was his birthday and I had the honor of praying for him with the family and truly, looking back, my father has been a valiant warrior, a knight. I attribute so much of who I am to him from the significant aspects of my life like prioritizing my relationship with God and the beauty of a godly marriage, to the small things like how to drive a car and keenness to time management – I have a strong dislike for tardiness. He taught me to read and seek knowledge like my life depended on it. He taught me the importance of living a disciplined life (I’m still working on this though. Lol).

Most notably, my father taught me about the importance of seeking and pursuing my life’s purpose. In my Mother’s Day blogpost, I wrote “I am a strong believer in the fact that I am a [parent] to my child specifically for two reasons: God has a mission for me that is linked to my child and secondly, God has a mission for my child that is linked to me.” I know that my life and what God has planned for me is directly linked to having my dad in my life. I thank God for him every day knowing that he would have made very different choices in his life but he didn’t. He not only stayed but he showed up! And on this Father’s Day, and for my dad, his birthday week, I celebrate my father, a valiant knight.