“When the most important times are occurring, we don’t even recognize them or notice. We are just busy living our lives. Only looking back do we know what was a great moment in our lives.” ~ Federico Fellini
I’ve been away for a few weeks and it’s been refreshing! This being the end of the year when the Millennial Mum blog went online, it won’t be right for me to let it end without sharing a few things that I’ve learnt this year about life, but specifically about motherhood.
1. Motherhood is a sacred responsibility
Usually, if you’ve had a child, you’re a mum. Saying it out loud sounds like stating the obvious. Lol! But I think I’ve sometimes failed to take that responsibility with as much seriousness as it deserves. I don’t mean that every waking moment has to be infused with some deep spiritual experience or whatever. I just mean that when parenthood becomes more about making a lasting impact on a child as you raise them to be a responsible and well-functioning adult rather than simply about ensuring that they’re alive to see adulthood and you can wash your hands of that responsibility, then there’s a lot that you naturally change about how you parent. You become careful about what they’re exposed to every day, about who they interact with and what values you cultivate in them. Most importantly, because it is a God-given responsibility, don’t be fooled that you can do it without God. He knows the end from the beginning, protects us even from unseen danger and provides generously from His immeasurably wealth. Parenthood is way easier and has a better chance of working out at its best when done as a divine partnership with the author of life.
2. You can’t give what you don’t have
Yesterday someone asked me “What would you say is something you didn’t think was a big deal before you became a mum that you now think is really important?” This second point was my answer. Similar to treating parenthood as a responsibility rather than unfortunate chore, I know that it doesn’t matter how seriously I take care of my child if I don’t take the same responsibility for myself. I can take care of myself in so many ways: resting, asking for help (you’ll need it), personal and spiritual growth, career progression, forming healthy relationships, staying healthy etc. I would say one area I’ve grown is asking for help. I always felt like I was inconveniencing people, often my family, when I would need help watching my daughter especially if it’s for a leisure reason like a much-needed lunch date with a friend. They wouldn’t feel inconvenienced but I would always feel this way. This year I was intentional about knowing when and how to ask for help and not feel guilty about it. However, this is still a work in progress.
3. Work out your support system
This definitely stems from my previous point about asking for help. You may have a social circle or even family members around you but it has to be clear who can support you in which area of your life. When raising children, it’s important to know who you have around them. I have been blessed to have a small but extremely supportive group of people around me with respect to helping me parent my child. One thing I realized, though unconsciously, is that I don’t just bring anyone around my daughter. I guess it may be the protective instinct of a mother. Whatever it may be, I find that it’s important to identify who you’re comfortable being a common face and presence around your child. You may have that cousin who can’t avoid swearing, or that friend who dresses in a PG-rated kinda way, or another one who has nothing but complaints when you meet them, all of whom have negative energy. It’s important how you manage their interaction with your child. Obviously, you can’t control every single interaction your child has even when you’re around, but it’s important that the people you choose to be your support system as you raise your child create a loving, healthy and positive environment as your child grows up, especially when they’re really young.
4. Identify your priorities
Superwoman is a hoax! You can’t do everything sweetheart, and that’s okay. Your heart may be in the right place but what happens may not always turn out like you want them too hence the need to identify what your priorities are. You may want your child to be a great swimmer like that two-year old you saw on YouTube or you may want to be the successful lady entrepreneur on TedTalk who also happens to be a mother of three. While these may be lovely goals, it isn’t everyone’s story. As I was being asked what was important that I didn’t think mattered, I was also asked what didn’t matter but I used to think was a big deal. I later realized that a huge chunk of the answers I gave were a product of the comparison trap where you see other people’s lives and feel like you’re not doing enough. People would sometimes tell me that I’m doing well as a young mum and I would honestly not see it because I always felt like there was nothing exceptional I was doing. While I’ve been learning over the past several years that I can’t possibly keep up with every other mum, this year, I feel like I really understood this lesson. I can’t make it to all lunch dates and sleepovers with friends, I can’t even make it to all meetings and work-related engagements, and being constantly spontaneous goes right out the window! And all that is okay. I choose my daughter as a priority and as Caroline Mutoko says, “If it comes down to a choice between you and my daughter, you will fail” and I hold no guilt about it. You shouldn’t either as long as it is a priority you choose.
5. It’s about the small joys
Finally, it’s not always that serious. Not every minute is time for a serious lesson about life for your child. Sometimes, all it takes to create a special memory may be spending 15 minutes running around the house, watching an episode of their favorite show with them or taking them to a lunch date, just the two of you. It became really apparent to me this year how simple it is to make my daughter happy. She will have the most beautiful twinkle in her eye just because I washed the car with her or I recited a line or two with her from one of her cartoons. She especially enjoys sitting with me to do whatever it is I’m doing. For instance, I sat on my bed to type this post but took way longer than I should have because she wanted to read through what I was writing and asking a bunch of questions. I had to patiently answer them and have a few thoughts disappear because she enjoys “hanging out with mama.” This isn’t always the case but when it is, I choose to be patient because it’s important to her. Some stuff we do in our day are opportunities to bond with our children and it’s often the brief moments that really make an impression both as a lesson and chance to have fun while at it.
These are just a few of the lessons I’ve learnt in 2020. Some are not really profound but they are points of introspection for us parents about what is truly important. Motherhood is an amazing journey full of all sorts of emotions and experiences. Choose to look back to learn and look ahead to make every day better than the last. What are your lessons of the past year? And what do you want to do different in the next one? Cheers to yet another year of raising these little human beings to be the best version of themselves they can be!
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Genç bir kadın tanınmış bir işadamı için isteksizce dadı olarak işe başlar. Adam kıza asıldıkça kız red ettikçe, adamın tutkuları ölümcül bir hale gelir. Nanny Danger izle Keven Caryk
Borrego, istilacı bir bitki türünü incelemek için küçük bir çöl kasabasına taşınan genç bir botanikçiyi konu alıyor. Uçağı çölde düştükten sonra tecrübesiz bir uyuşturucu taciri tarafından kaçırıldığında, hayatta kalmak için savaşmak zorundadır. Williams Retterath
Yunan sinemasının son yıllarda en güzel filmlerinden biri olan Dogtooth, aile yapısını sorgulayan ve bunu kara komedi, drama dilinde başaran çok iyi bir film. Oldukça sert bir film ama bir o kadar da yalın olan anlatım diliyle modern dünyanın sistemlerle insanı robotlaştığını ve evcil hayvana dönüştürdüğünü gösteren bunu da göze sokarak yapan bir film. Bir ailenin 3 çocuğunu dünyadan soyutlayarak kendilerine göre iyi bir birey olarak yetiştirmeye çalıştığını konusu üzerinde yapılanıyor film. Film sadece, iyi kavramın genişliğini sorgulamıyor, aile hiyeraşisini de ve sistemlerin kölesi olmuş insanları sorguluyor. Herşeyin bir kitabı ve açıklamsası var bu dünyada. Herşey önceden biliniyor ve sen zaten öğrenmek için okuman lazım. Kitablara göre yaşaman ve sana ne söylenirse yapman lazım. Başka bir seçimin yok bu dünyada. Herşey belli ve sen öyle yetişmelisin. Ve bu film, kendisini modernleşme adı altında sınırlarla örülü bir dünya öngeren sistemide çok ağır bir dille eleştriyor. Bagaj da sıkışmış bir kız çocuğu durumunda olan bir insan oğlu varlığını gösteriyor. İzlenmeli. Rory Iwanski
Bir diğer 26 bölümlük, acımasız, kısır ve meraklandırıcı ölüm vitrini tekrar karşımızda. Jessie Trice
Dindar bir babanın oğlu olan Vural, sıradan bir hayat sürer. Hasta babasıyla beraber Amerikan Konsolosluğu karşısındaki bir fotoğrafçı dükkânını işletirler. Vural, namuslu davranmaktan söz eden, Allah’ın her zaman insanları gözlediğini söyleyen babasını örnek alır. Kendi oğluna da benzer öğütler verir. İyi bir evlat, iyi bir baba ve iyi bir koca gibi görünen Vural’ın herkesten gizlediği sırrı; geçimini mahalledeki evlere temizliğe giderek sağlayan ve Amerika’ya gidip yeni bir hayat kurmayı hayal eden Sonay’la kurduğu ilişkidir. Freddy Glud
Dhoom filminde Jai Dixit idealist bir polis memurudur. Sweety isimli bir kadınla evlidir. Jai Dixit sürekli peşinden koştuğu Kabir’in çetesini bir türlü yakalayamamıştır. Hayatını bu çeteyi çökertmeye adamıştır. Bir hırsızla plan yapar ve çeteyi tuzaklarına düşürmeye çalışırlar. Fakat çete yine ellerinden kaçmayı başarmıştır. Gerilim dolu nefeslerinizi kesecek bir aksiyon filmi Hipolito Grasso
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Gerçek olaylardan uyarlanan ve 18. yüzyıl Hindistanı’nda geçen bu filmde bir Maratha kumandanı, ordusunu Afgan işgalcilere karşı çetin bir savaş için hazırlar.Film, Maratha ve Afganistan Kralı Ahmad Şah Abdali arasında 14 Ocak 1761’de gerçekleşen Panipat üçlü savaşına dayanmaktadır. Andrea Shoji
Radyoaktif taşıyan devasa büyüklükteki Godzilla adlı canavar insanoğlunun ona yaptıklarının hesabını sormak için geri dönüyor. Ancak insanoğlu da direnecektir… Godzilla izle, Godzilla Türkçe dublaj izle, Godzilla 2014 izle Derek Bringle
Boulevard, 60 yaşındaki cinsel kimliğini reddetme aşamasında olan bir banka müdürünün hayatına odaklanıyor. Otostop çeken genç bir serseri ile tanışıp ilişkiye başlamasının ardından değişen Nolan Mack’ın hayatındeki değişiklikleri konu ediniyor. Stanton Sarwinski
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Fullhdfilmizle ile Full HD film izle deneyimi sizlerle! Türkçe dublaj ve Altyazı arşivimizle 1080p kalite kesintisiz film izleme sitesinin tadını çıkar! Jefferey Arrison
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It is very comforting to see that others are suffering from the same problem as you, wow!
Fullhdfilmizlesene ile en yeni vizyon filmler Full HD ve ücretsiz film sizlerle. Orijinal film arşivimizle en kaliteli film izle fırsatı sunuyoruz. Delmer Ludgood
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Filmizlesene ile hızlı film izleme fırsatını yakala, en yeni ve iyi filmleri Full HD 1080p kalitesiyle online ve bedava izle. Johnnie Preskar
Filmizlesene ile hızlı film izleme fırsatını yakala, en yeni ve iyi filmleri Full HD 1080p kalitesiyle online ve bedava izle. Cameron Scherer
Filmizlesene ile hızlı film izleme fırsatını yakala, en yeni ve iyi filmleri Full HD 1080p kalitesiyle online ve bedava izle. Rueben Preston
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Your writing is so eloquent and engaging You have a gift for connecting with your readers and making us feel understood
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It is very comforting to see that others are suffering from the same problem as you, wow!
Thanks for thr great article!
Thank you so much!
It is very comforting to see that others are suffering from the same problem as you, wow!
Thank you so much!
It is very comforting to see that others are suffering from the same problem as you, wow!
Thank you so much!
Thanks for thr great article!
Thank you so much!
It is very comforting to see that others are suffering from the same problem as you, wow!
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much!
Thanks for thr great article!
Thank you so much!
It is very comforting to see that others are suffering from the same problem as you, wow!
It is very comforting to see that others are suffering from the same problem as you, wow!
It is very comforting to see that others are suffering from the same problem as you, wow!